I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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