I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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