I seem to have left my pride at pride
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
