He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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