I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
im six kinds of drunk right now
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
