garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
