Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
