i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
