I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
