This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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