i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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