There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
