Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
