You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
