You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
