This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize