Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
