true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize