i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
