i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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