Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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