Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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