im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
