piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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