nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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