Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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