so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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