hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
