I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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