We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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