last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
