Acid is not a monday night drug
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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