probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
