last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
