we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
