I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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