Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
