my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
