FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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