So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
