so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
