Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
