She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
