____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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