This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
