Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she peed on how many people?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
