I hate all girls vehemently.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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