i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
