you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
