If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
pray to the hookup gods
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
