hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
