I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize