Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize