I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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