You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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