You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
