Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
