Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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