All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
