Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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