O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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