Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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