also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize