How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
