Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
