I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
