I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
