I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
