we should wear snuggies to the strip club
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
