Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize