I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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