I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
