He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
