The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
