DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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